A notional list, based on more than a decade of observation:
* First we become loud.
* Then we all talk about how drunk we were, that one time.
* Next, we reassure each other that we’re totally not drunk yet. Not at all.
* Sometimes at this point, we do shots. Optionally, the shots can be because we’re not drunk yet … and we’ve been so much drunker than this.
* After bonding through the shots, we proclaim – for no reason in particular: I love you, man!
* Next we plan awesome adventures that will never happen.
— here is the line demarcating “too much” —
* Someone begins – to insist that you’re doing it wrong. Who knows what “it” is, or why they care.
* They will not be silenced, because repetition is the order of the day.
* No no! you’re doing it wrong! is repeated!
* First it becomes acceptable to hook up with strangers.
* Then it becomes acceptable to hook up with your friends.
* And finally, in one of many manners of doing so, you shit the bed.
