I think that I get twitter – and there’s not much to get.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back in the day, I was a luddite who thought that “the web” was just a massive ego trip. Seriously – I put up a web page on one of the umich servers in, like, 1994 – and wondered what the fuss was about. That lasted until a professor insisted that we get homework from his web page and turn in assignments by creating a (primitive by today’s standards) password protected page and giving him the password. That was when I realized that “the web” means “anyone can publish any document, instantly, for free.” The power of intellectual production was truly in the hands of the masses. That’s f-ing revolutionary, and we’re still dealing with what it means when “everyone” really seriously has the power of the press. Web 3.0? This is still web 1.0 people … we’re just finally hitting the knee of the exponential adoption curve on internet access<\/strong> in 2009.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Seriously. Did you hear the whinging last week about the digital conversion of TV? There’s a revolution going on – but it’s not twitter – it’s people finally realizing that you don’t have to own a million bucks of metal to broadcast yourself to everyone on the planet<\/strong>. The revolution is the stuff that is dreaming. Twitter is John the Baptist to his Jesus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Okay seriously “tweeple,” shut up a second and let me talk. Put down the crackberry when I’m talking to you. Some thoughts take more than a sentence or two. If your philosophy fits on a bumper sticker, your philosophy sucks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So then I started a livejournal, against my own better judgement, because this is just another ego trip. Why would I want the whole world reading my diary? Except that it turns out that the whole world doesn’t read my diary. There are maybe 30 of you, and I know the majority of you in real life. So while it’s theoretically possible<\/strong> for the whole world to read my blog … they don’t. Google skims me, and I occasionally get a hit from some real human who is constantly searching for (for example) co-working or something. This one time, I posted about giving a talk at a conference and a reporter covering the conference put 2 and 2 together and linked me in his article. So it’s there<\/strong>, but it’s not really the way the thing works. LJ at least makes a nod at concepts like privacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Facebook – same story. Except that the posts are shorter. Instead of having to read paragraph after angst laden paragraph, I can offer up a sentence or two in a status. “Got married.” “Had a kid.” “Cat dying.” That sort of thing. Once again, there’s a theoretical possibility that people could scope my statuses all the time – but they don’t<\/strong>. It’s a vehicle for me to communicate with (here’s the key) people who I already know. I’m not talking to the world … I’m talking to a few friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Implicit in both my blog and my facebook status is the fact that I know I’m talking to a small-ish audience. While both facebook and LJ give me delusions of my own globe-spanning importance, the reality is that we’re a single monkeysphere talking to itself. Maybe 200 of us. Tops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Twitter is different: It runs under the assumption and the reality that I truly intend every “tweet” to go out to the whole fucking world … which just ain’t true. I have aspirations that the whole world will hear some of the things that I have to say … but it’s sure as hell not my stupid little posts that amount to me saying “hi, I still exist, and my butt kinda hurts today.” When I speak to the masses, it will use the same miraculous publishing power that was available to me in 1994 – and it will @not #include $txt @abbrviations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I preach, I intend to spellcheck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Almost every time I post to twitter, some random ass web robot will say “hi” to me. Sometimes it’s a spammer who wants me to look at their product (hello “Boston Bread Company”). Other times it’s some aggregator who undoubtedly has a product under the hood. The most recent of these was “conference call tips.” I tweeted that I was on a conference call and was suddenly on an aggregator for everyone in the world who wanted to know about … what … people who used the words “conference call” in a tweet? Because there’s some sort of emergent global conversation going on about … conference calls? Give me a break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Seriously. I get the difference … and I want none of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had been abusing twitter by deliberately blocking all those jackasses … and then I realized: I’m fighting against the whole point<\/strong> of twitter. If I want to just “tweet” to my friends and family … I’ll use facebook. Given that the stated purpose of twitter annoys the crap out of me – the only winning strategy may be to not play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Summary: I have no interest in being part of a chirping chorus of (to use the past tense): twats.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I think that I get twitter – and there’s not much to get. Back in the day, I was a luddite who thought that “the web” was just a massive ego trip. 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