redmed<\/a> and I went to our car to head back to the hotel. She hopped in the car first while I said some final goodnights. She heard something moving at the front of the car, like an animal grubbing at the bumper. She didn\u2019t realize what was going on until she heard me come up on the driver\u2019s side and say \u201chey buddy, what\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\nThe owner of the shiny new porsche parked next to us was face down in the gravel between our cars. He was trying and failing to get to his feet, face completely smeared with dirt, and nearly insensible. I stepped towards him, took a grip on his arm, and got him to his feet. I said something like \u201clet\u2019s get you back to the house,\u201d and started leading him that way. Immediately, he began to pull away and go \u2013 somewhere else. \u201cNo \u2026 let \u2026 let \u2026 take \u2026 let \u2026 take your hands off me.\u201d Somewhere in there he pulled out his phone and dropped it on the ground. I picked it up and offered it to him, and he moved surprisingly quickly to slap it out of my hand. I picked it up and pocketed it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
saw me having trouble guiding him to the house and took up a position supporting his other side, so we were flanking him. This redoubled the protest: \u201ctake \u2026 take \u2026 let \u2026 no \u2026 take your hands \u2026 off \u2026 me.\u201d Jen finally rose to the bait and gently asked \u201cor what? what are you going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll punch \u2026 I\u2019ll punch \u2026 punch you in \u2026 the face.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That changed the dynamic a little bit for me. I had already been pretty alert, mostly to move quickly to avoid getting puked on. With the threat, no matter how impotent, I sort of had to pay attention. had his right arm around her neck and her arm around her waist. I was on his left side, leading him by the left hand. So, punching in the face \u2013 fine, noted \u2013 but with what hand, buddy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
About 10 feet from the porch, our new friend started to struggle a bit and fell down on his back. As we went down, he flailed a bit and made a pitiful attempt to kick from the ground. In short order, both his hands were behind his head, gently restrained. said something like \u201cyou can hold him, I\u2019ll go get some more help,\u201d and took off towards the party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked at \u201cbuddy,\u201d covered in dirt, struggling to get up, and thought of all the clever pins and hold downs I\u2019ve learned at judo. Around the neck? Straddle? Side body control? In short order I settled for sitting beside him with a hand on his chest. He wasn\u2019t going anywhere. After a couple of minutes I asked \u201cwant to sit on the porch instead?\u201d He said yes, so I got him to his feet and then on a bench.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have to admit to being a bit disappointed. I\u2019ve trained in self defense and the martial arts for more than 5 years \u2026 and this what I get? On the other hand, I\u2019m cool with this being the closest I get to an actual fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, came back with my dad and the best man \u2013 who is built something like a tank \u2013 having told some brief urgent tale about how I was fighting a loser in the parking lot. I told \u2018buddy\u2019, \u201cthis is the doctor. he\u2019s going to take care of you.\u201d To my great surprise, buddy stood up and started trying to speak:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere \u2026 there is no \u2026 problem \u2026 problem sir.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My dad asked if he needed a place to sleep. \u201cYes sir.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you gonna cause any more trouble? \u201cNo sir.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes the doctor magic works. Should have thought of that earlier when joined us. Of course, given his seeming desire to punch women, he might not have responded to that as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So in he went to a couch, with a dog bowl to catch his drool. We all had a bit of a laugh, my dad asking if I had hit him to give him that cut on his chin (no, it was the driveway that hit him), and telling me \u201cyou live for this crap.\u201d After a quick circuit to check on the other fools in the pond, and I hopped in the car and went to the hotel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apparently in the morning he remembered nothing and asked for ibuprofen. My brother was circumspect. \u201cLooks like I found a place to sleep.\u201d \u201cYeah, where we put you.\u201d \u201cWhere are my keys?\u201d \u201cProbably in the driveway, where we found you.\u201d \u201cWhere\u2019s my phone?\u201d \u201cHere on the table, where my brother left it for you.\u201d Buddy was pulling out of the driveway in his shiny little red porsche when we arrived for breakfast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wish \u2018buddy\u2019 well, and I hope he gets some treatment. Somebody needs to be pretty blunt about the fact that he threatened a woman (pathetically, but threatened nonetheless) during a drunken blackout. Even if he gets lucky and keeps falling down before getting in his car to kill himself on the road \u2013 that\u2019s not the kind of behavior that can last long. Jail or the morgue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Times like this make me want to carry a couple of cards for alcoholics anonymous or some similar organization. \u201cHey, how did this card get in my wallet?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My brother\u2019s wedding last weekend was absolutely beautiful, and I need to document it in another post. First, though, I want to set pen to paper about our late night adventure with the belligerent drunk. The wedding was at my dad\u2019s place, which is about…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2023","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-just-bloggin","category-real-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2023","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2023"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2023\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2024,"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2023\/revisions\/2024"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2023"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2023"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwan.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2023"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}